Serial Killer Train Voice

Usually, I catch the friendly Connex-owned Belgrave/Lilydale line. But sometimes I catch the Sandringham line, and soon I think I will permanently be on the Sandringham line (or tramming to work insead - the horror!). The Sandringham line, while currently owned by Connex, used to be part of the M> Train network, and there's one big difference between the Connex trains and the former M> Trains. Both trains have announcements which give the next stop and if you need to change to swap lines or whatever. The Connex computer voice is nice (female), friendly, and has an Australian accent without sounding like a bogan. The M> Train voice sounds like it wants to kill you.

It's not just the low tones of this (female) voice. It's not just the fact that it sounds more like a computer than the Connex one does. It might be a combination of these things but the scariest thing is that it has a pseudo-English accent and speaks almost in a monotone. Think Hal, but female and English and you get the general idea. I am fully expecting one day for it to say "Now approaching Richmond station. No one is getting off. I cannot allow that to happen" and then the train driver will get pushed off the train and we'll go on a merry ride somewhere with the crazy computer in charge. The strange thing is that Connex has left this voice on the new trains too, where the better speakers mean you really think that the end is nigh. I'm all for computers to express their personality but the combination of serial killer computer and that it's on a train makes me a little uneasy. If I suddenly go missing, at least you'll know what's happened to me.